:) conclusão :) mais do mesmo :)

...fartinha de intertextos!!! "não me parece"!!! do buy a little mirror, s´il vous plaît and do please be more discrete!!! I hate being watched and stared at, it feels like being on a stage which I didn´t ask for, I have the Supreme Right to have my so called "balcony life" without it!!!...
...and the worst of all is this strange feeling of seeing others I know since forever as I´ve never seen them before...like they are all translucid and full of let´s just say not beautiful feelings, emotions and purposes...it´s horrible for you to lose all your illusions as well as good memories while pretending that it´s all the same as before and it isn´t!!! I wish them all the best as I always did but far far way from me and my problems which seem to disctract them from their own, as I am some kind of an exotic bird or a mouse for social experiments, like a case study - "let´s go and pick up the weirdo so as to make her amuse ourselves...we do need some clown to rejoy within these holidays!!!"...
..."lissen verry carrefulli forr I will just say dis anly ance" :) I don´t want to see you neither through you- it messes with my nerves and I´m exhausted because I simply don´t belong there anymore (as a matter of fact I must emphasise that I never did, but I´ve tried to understand the both sides of your way of living which is in fact the opposite of mine in multiple contexts and m.o....:), something died inside of me forever and ever and you were and are parts of this disenchantment!!! do you please make an effort and try to fucking understand what am I saying???!!!! go away!!! are you my Friends???!!!! really???!!!!a Friend Is Someone Who Helps us when we need Her/Him to  (like I´ve always did with you and with all my other so called Friends...I realise now WHO IS ACTUALLY MY FRIEND, THE FEW ELECTED ONES WHO ALWAYS STOOD BY ME IN MY WORST MOMENTS IN LIFE, TREATING ME WITH DIGNITY AS THEIR FAMILY NOT AS THE BEGGER...you don´t even know what Friendship is because you can´t have what you can´t give...:) not the one who tries to humiliate us deeper and deeper......
...go away! don´t you even see that you are humiliating yourselves in front of the Eyes of the Lord???!!!! are you trying to make your life more miserable than it already is? do pleeease understand that I am a very sad person but not  an unhappy one and I simply don´t try to use anyone to fulfill my deepest sadness...let´s just say that there are few people who can say that...do you know why???!!!! because most of the so called human not humane beings worship the most low dimension of all- the material one- objectifying themselves as well as others and if yesterday (i.e., since forever...:) I´ve tried to cope with that m.o. which isn´t part of my way of living and being at all, trying to see the best within your.shelves, now after all we´ve been through I only see what my sensibility shows me which is far more deep than what my eyes can tell me and it isn´t very pleasant...what can I say? so long, farewell and goodbye!!! ...I am not afraid of being alone, because really you know that I simply have been  alone  all of my life and what scares me the most is not loneliness- I have told you before- it´s meaness, not because of me but because of who lives by its rules and m.o. specially when it comes to people I once cared for...nevertheless I can say that I have Few True Friends...what about you???!!!! do you have Them???!!!! I don´t suppose you do... you did have one, now you lost her...